how long should therapy last, how long should you be in therapy, how many therapy sessions do i need

Have you ever wondered how long you should be in therapy for? You might have the impression that you should only be there as long as it takes to solve a specific issue. Or you might have heard of people in therapy for years and wonder why that is the case. Either way, there can be misconceptions about the duration of the therapeutic journey. We have talked about who can go to therapy, how to choose a therapist, what to do if you have a bad therapy experience, and other commonly asked questions. Now we’re back with a popular one.

1. The Quick Fix Illusion

In a society that often seeks quick fixes and instant solutions, the idea of therapy being a brief intervention is a common misconception. Therapy is not a one-session wonder; it’s a process that takes time. Imagine going to the gym for just one day and expecting to see a drastic change in your fitness – it’s unrealistic. Similarly, therapy requires consistent effort and commitment.

As therapists, we have seen too many people who come in when everything is falling apart and expect their first session to be their last session, to be ‘fixed’ or be given solutions and answers to their struggles, and then express disappointment or disbelief when their expectations aren’t met. Is therapy hard work? Yes, it is. Is it rewarding? Yes, it is. We would love to journey with you through the rough times and celebrate you in the less rough times, but it will require effort and commitment from both parties, not just on our side.

2. Progress, Not Permanence

Contrary to popular belief, long-term therapy does not imply stagnation or dependence. Therapy isn’t about creating lifelong dependencies but rather fostering personal growth and resilience. People often fear that being in therapy for an extended period suggests they’re not making progress. In reality, the length of therapy varies for each individual, and progress is a gradual, ongoing journey.

When I was still doing my master’s, I heard many times from different counsellors that our job is to get clients functional and then out the door. While I believe that some clients are able to do this and can ‘graduate’ from therapy, I also believe there is no shame in long-term therapy.

3. Unraveling Layers Takes Time

Think of therapy as peeling layers off an onion. Each layer represents different aspects of your thoughts, emotions, and experiences. Unraveling these layers is a gradual process, and it takes time to explore and understand the complexities within ourselves, especially when working trauma. There is no shortcut for working through any issue, least of all trauma. Long-term therapy provides the space and opportunity for deeper self-discovery and meaningful change.

What this can look like is coming into session to explore one topic but you might find that it leads you to different paths that you never expected to be on. While some therapists may want to bring you back to the main path, some therapists may feel it important to give attention to some of the other paths, and only return to the main path in another session. It all really depends – there are so many nuances to therapy which is also why it is impossible to provide an exact timeline of progress.

4. Establishing Trust and Connection

Building a therapeutic relationship takes time and trust. Just as you wouldn’t expect to confide in a stranger immediately, opening up in therapy requires a foundation of trust between you and your therapist. The early sessions often focus on establishing this connection, and the duration of therapy allows for a more profound exploration of your concerns. Unfortunately, many people drop out of therapy before this happens.

5. Adapting to Life’s Dynamic and Fluid Nature

Just as life cannot be fit into a rigid mold, therapy is not a rigid structure; it adapts to the evolving needs of the individual. Long-term therapy provides the flexibility to address new challenges, process trauma, navigate life transitions, and reinforce coping skills. When we talk about long-term therapy, we don’t only mean continuous sessions. It can also look like going to therapy for some time, putting therapy on pause and resuming it at a later time.

Often what can also happen in therapy is that even though there are goals to work towards, sometimes life happens and clients need to use that time in therapy to talk about something that is more current and pressing. It may take more than one session to resolve that issue and that is okay.

It’s About the Journey, Not Just the Destination

Each person’s journey is unique, and the timeline for therapy varies. Some may find relief and resolution in a shorter timeframe, while others may require a more extended period to achieve their therapeutic goals. Honoring your unique timeline is crucial – progress is not measured by the number of sessions but by the positive changes and insights gained along the way.

In the world of therapy, it’s important to shift our focus from fixed timelines to the quality of the therapeutic journey. Long-term therapy is not a sign of weakness or dependency; rather, it signifies a commitment to personal growth and well-being. If you take away anything from this, I hope it is this: therapy is an investment in yourself, and the length of the process is as individual as you are.


Written by Weii Yie

Weii Yie is an associate therapist at ABRI where she primarily provides therapy to adults and adolescents. Her love for writing and passion for mental health are translated into these blog posts. Read more about who she is as a therapist on the Team page.

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