What to Do If You Had a Bad Therapy Experience

Sometimes the therapy experience doesn’t meet our expectations. Whether it’s a mismatch with the therapist, feeling unheard, or not seeing the progress you hoped for, a bad therapy experience can be disheartening, if not off-putting. But it’s important to know that you’re not alone, and there are steps you can take to navigate through this situation and find the support you need.

As mental health professionals, it saddens us to hear frequent upsetting stories about negative first encounters with a mental health professional. There is no shortage of clients or people we know telling us about how their psychiatrist or counsellor didn’t bother listening to them or gave them some menial advice or simply prescribed medication within the first few minutes of the consultation. Sadly, most of the time, these negative experiences put people off from seeking therapy again.

Here’s what you can do if you had a bad therapy experience:

1. Reflect on Your Experience: Before taking any action or hastily declaring that ‘therapy isn’t working’, take some time to reflect on your therapy experience. Consider what specifically didn’t feel right or helpful. Was it a communication issue, lack of rapport, or disagreement on treatment approach? Understanding the reasons behind your dissatisfaction can help you articulate your concerns more effectively.
2. Communicate with Your Therapist: Honest communication is key to resolving any issues in therapy as it is in any relationship. If you feel comfortable, express your concerns directly with your therapist. Be open and specific about what didn’t work for you and give them the opportunity to address your concerns. A good therapist will appreciate your feedback and be willing to work with you to find a solution. If it helps make communication less scary, you can always leave a message or send an email with your feedback.
3. Consider Switching Therapists: Sometimes, despite your best efforts, the therapeutic relationship may not improve. If you’ve communicated your concerns and still don’t feel heard or supported, it might be time to consider finding a new therapist. Sometimes it may be that you and your therapist don’t ‘click’ and that is nobody’s fault. Don’t be discouraged by one bad or unsatisfactory experience; there are many other therapists out there, and finding the right fit is essential for your progress.
4. Explore Different Therapeutic Approaches: If you found that the therapeutic approach used by your previous therapist wasn’t effective for you and you already brought it up with your therapist to no avail, don’t give up on therapy altogether. Research different approaches and consider trying something new with a different therapist.
5. Seek Support from Others: Dealing with a bad therapy experience can be emotionally challenging, so it’s important to seek support from friends, family, or support groups, if possible. Talking to others who have been through similar experiences can provide validation and perspective. Remember, you don’t have to go through this alone. If you don’t have anyone safe to talk to about your experience, then the next step is very important.
6. Take Care of Yourself: While navigating through a bad therapy experience, prioritize self-care. What do we mean by self-care? Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, whether it’s journaling about your experience, doing your hobbies, or exercising. Practice self-compassion and remind yourself that 1) your therapy experience was unpleasant and your feelings are valid, 2) it doesn’t necessarily mean that therapy is not for you, and 3) it’s okay to prioritize your mental health and well-being.

A bad therapy experience can be discouraging, but it doesn’t mean that therapy isn’t right for you. By reflecting on your experience, communicating openly, and exploring other options, you can overcome this setback and find the support you need to thrive. Remember, your mental health journey is unique, and finding the right therapist and approach may take time (it is totally okay to rest in between your negative experience and finding a new therapist), but it’s worth the effort for your overall well-being.