Who else has held back from bringing up certain things in therapy and feels like they will never be able to talk about it even though they really want to? And who else has avoided therapy because they feel like it would be just too awkward and terrifying to bring up certain things? You are not alone! That heavy, dreadful coat of shame and fear is so real!
Entering therapy can be a daunting experience, particularly when it comes to discussing uncomfortable or taboo topics. Whether it’s past trauma, deep-seated fears, or aspects of our identity we’ve kept hidden, broaching these subjects with a therapist can evoke feelings of vulnerability and anxiety. The thing is, discomfort is a natural part of the therapeutic process and a skilled therapist will provide a safe space for exploration without judgment. Yes, such a space exists.
It’s Normal to Feel Uncomfortable
Again, and because we feel like this needs more emphasis, it’s crucial to understand that feeling uncomfortable discussing certain topics in therapy is entirely normal. Many of us are conditioned to keep our struggles hidden, fearing judgment or rejection if we reveal our true selves. However, therapy is a confidential and non-judgmental space where you’re encouraged to explore even the most challenging aspects of your life. Whatever you think is too unacceptable or shameful or horrible to talk about in therapy, please know that you are not the only person with this experience and you are not an unacceptable, shameful, horrible existence.
No Right Way to Go About It
Some people may still find the idea of bringing up certain topics with their therapist deeply nerve-wracking but perhaps they may not have considered the different forms of communication they can use. The first thing we may think of is verbal expression, however you can choose to write a letter or email to your therapist or even ask for a piece of paper and draw out what you want to talk about or find a relatable social media post and share it with your therapist. These may be gentler ways to ease into a scary topic.
Therapy is About Growth, Not Judgment
A skilled therapist understands that everyone has their own unique experiences and challenges. They are trained to approach these discussions with empathy, compassion, and professionalism. A good therapist will create an environment where you feel safe to express yourself openly and honestly, without fear of condemnation or criticism. They would be willing and able to explore these scary terrains with you and guide you through making sense of and processing the challenges/fears. It’s also important to emphasize that they will go at your pace, not force you to reveal more than you’re comfortable. We’ll cover more about therapist red flags and green flags in another post.
What to Do If Your Therapist Can’t Help
While most therapists strive to create a supportive environment for their clients, there may be instances where you feel your therapist is unable to address certain topics adequately. Pause here to feel through your feelings of disappointment (it is normal to feel disappointed when someone cannot meet your expectations). This could be due to a lack of expertise in a particular area or a mismatch in communication styles. If you find yourself in this situation, it’s essential to communicate your concerns openly with your therapist.
Start by expressing your feelings and explaining why you’re struggling to discuss certain topics (eg. You feel like you’re not being heard or that they haven’t been able to address your concern enough). A good therapist will listen attentively and work with you to find a solution that meets your needs. This might involve adjusting the focus of your sessions, exploring alternative therapeutic approaches, or even seeking a referral to another therapist who specializes in the areas you’re struggling with.
Remember, Therapy is a Collaboration
Ultimately, therapy is a collaborative process between you and your therapist. It’s essential to advocate for yourself and communicate your needs openly and honestly. If you’re feeling uncomfortable discussing certain topics, we hope that this post helped validate your feelings and encourages you to bring up uncomfortable topics with your therapist. Together, you can work through these challenges and continue on your journey of self-discovery and growth. Therapy is a journey, and with the right support, you can overcome even the most challenging obstacles on your path to healing and self-discovery.
Go forth on that healing path. You deserve healing. You deserve peace.
Written by Weii Yie
Weii Yie is an associate therapist at ABRI where she primarily provides therapy to adults and adolescents. Her love for writing and passion for mental health are translated into these blog posts. Read more about who she is as a therapist on the Team page.